ella's sad

I see you and have so many things to say
about how much I miss you and wished you
never strayed. how I smell you in the mornings
and dream of you in the evenings.
how I still get the tingle down my spine

But I see you and the only thing I can
mutter to say is.... why you leave me, or
never needed me! why wasn't my love
enough? even when I stayed when shit
got rough...

Then I see me and wonder
how did this happen, why because
he gave up on us I start questioning
my worth? Since when did me become
meaningless and he meaningful?
How did the guy the world knew
could never love me, consume me,
drain me, to the state that I'm
loosing me....

You look at me and say
how my eyes look tired
and I swear that just fueled
the fire! b/c if you looked close
enough you would see not shattered dreams
and loss of integrity but my moment
of clarity....damn